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[31 Dec 2003|12:18pm] |
so we're in vegas, glamming it up. it's good times. we drove 14 hrs. straight to get here, in some snow, and we were sliding and shit and it was scary.
tonight will be crazy. we might get terrorized. who knows....
if we're still alive tomorrow, we play here. i'm not expecting much, the vegas music scene isn't too awesome i hear, but it's just cool to be here, and be all "touristy" and shit.
dennis, chris and i are taking really "tourist like" pictures, and it's funny as shit to us.
being really loud at like 9 in the morning is really funny too.
it's sucks being 20 years old here though. chris has to do all the real gambling for me.
supposibly metallica is playing here tonight, so maybe i can show my metallica tattoo, and we can get in for free or something. (as if i'm the only idiot with a metallica tattoo)
this tour is really relaxing and not stressful, it's a nice change.
um.... not much else. kids are saying we suck because we dress nice and stuff, so that's pretty awesome. "fashioncore" whatever the fuck that means....
um....count me in or something.
see you next year doods.
my life is weird. i'm sorry.
some times i hate me.
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| siiiiigh |
[18 Dec 2003|11:42pm] |
i feel like i have so much to do, and not nearly enough time and motivation to do it.
i leave to go to my parents house in ohio on sunday morning, i'll be there all day sunday, hopefully see all my friends there sunday night, wake up monday morning, ride in the car with my parents to pittsburgh to spend christmas with fucking stupid relatives that i don't even know, nor have seen for about 3 years.
the morning of the 26th i fly to minneapolis from pittsburgh (my first time flying...make fun of me) for the first day of tour. we play minneapolis that night, and then make our way out to california in about 5 shows or so, including a day off in vegas on new yrs eve. then make our way up to seattle, and then the horrible drive home.
i have to figure out how to get back to ohio to get my car somehow after tour....i didn't think about that one.
the next 3 weeks will be busy.
some cold, some warm.
i'll miss carrie alot, but it's fucking awesome to come home to her after i haven't seen her for awhile. i get really nervous and stupid. it feels like our first date or something.
shutup...
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[09 Dec 2003|01:58am] |
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| in contradiction to the last post... |
[08 Dec 2003|02:44am] |
today was awesome.
it felt nice to be genuinely happy for at least 1 day.
i'll leave it at that.
the other days of this weekend were bittersweet...
the fest in madison made me realize a few things:
i hate everything that goes with hardcore,
i hate everything that goes with straight edge,
i hate petty bullshit that seperates people...
it was amazing to see all my friends, but all in all, i've changed alot in the past 6 months, and this weekend proved that to me.
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[03 Dec 2003|03:08am] |
today fucking sucked...
i felt like driving my car into oncoming traffic more than once, and for more reasons than one.
too much stupid shit going on in my life and in my head.
but staying up all night with chris, watching movies, fucking around, has taken the mood up a few notches.
we're getting jobs tomorrow...i can feel it.
it'd be sweet if i could at least TRY to be responsible for once. ;lihjasdf;jhasd....
mwwuhahaha i finally got those sweet "citizens of humanity" jeans i've been wanting, so there's another thing to be happy about... i'm a suuuucker for amazing jeans
fuck you ryan!
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[22 Nov 2003|03:23am] |
P L A Y L I S T
zombie apocalypse
impaled
the jealous sound
blink182 (the new one)
dntl
between the buried and me
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[20 Nov 2003|06:55am] |
wow...i feel like a piece of shit for even thinking about this for more than a couple minutes, but...
sometimes when i think about carries ex-boyfriends (whom i don't know, but have met) it makes me really mad, and jealous, and i have to fight with myself to convince myself that it's okay, and it shouldn't be any of my concern.
if anything you'd think that she'd be weirded out/bothered, by my past waaay more than i to hers. (i mean i was fucking ENGAGED...like for real.)
but for some reason i have the instinct to be jealous and weird about stuff, and i fucking hate it. and i hate when i see other people act like this. i shouldn't even be thinking about stupid shit like that. i care about her more than anything, and i know she feels the same. but i get in "thinking moods", and sometimes it comes up. it's really childish, and i hate myself for it. i'm supposed to be cool about everything, and if she were to say something like this about me, i would think it's really silly and stupid.
i dont like weaknesses, and i've been pretty good about "weeding out" alot of them in my life, so umm...i guess writing about this shit is a way of doing that for me.
i'm just rambling...
i'm sorry you had to read this.
i wrote this for myself (even though i hate when people say that)
fuck off ryan
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[20 Nov 2003|05:03am] |
it's 5am.
dennis and i just retired from a few hours of prank calls to hotels and kinkos, running around marquette campus, throwing water balloons at cars driving by, and being chased by public safety guards. it was pretty damn funny, and makes me wish we did funny shit like that every night.
i want to sleep but i can't. i feel shitty, like i drank alot of coffee, even though i didn't.
tomorrow is carrie, movies, and vanilla coke. i can't sleep.
i wish i was 16.
i want to grow up sometime, just not yet.
i want to have my fun while i can.
i'm fully aware that i'm irresponsible, lazy, unmotivated, disrespectful, and immature.(etc...)
but i'm justifying it for now.
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[16 Nov 2003|01:55pm] |
scratch that...
i'm back at the old apartment.
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[14 Nov 2003|12:17pm] |
so...
i'm in the process of moving right now.
i have most of my stuff into the new house, just a few things left to get. it's kind of a bittersweet thing as of yet. i'm gonna miss a few things about my old apartment. it's right on the marquette campus, so that pretty much means free use of just about everything at marquette (not that i cant still do that, it just wont be as close)
and i'll miss the memories of the past year spent in that building.
but the new place will be awesome. chris and i will be sharing a basement "apartment" of a house that my friends cj, nick, and chad live in.
many of good times will be had i'm sure.
i just needed a "change of pace"
it'll be good for me
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| 2015 GO! |
[11 Nov 2003|05:38pm] |
ONLY 12 MORE YEARS...
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[06 Nov 2003|12:39am] |
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[03 Nov 2003|01:58am] |
people that bitch in lj about girls/boys and getting their hearts broken, are fucking lame...and annoying
throw on some pantera....it'll make it allll better
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[27 Oct 2003|02:20am] |
um....
i think i "like like" this girl named carrie
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[23 Oct 2003|02:39am] |
i remember being 14 or 15, sitting in school, pouring over the Shai Hulud "hearts once nourished with hope and compassion" lyrics.
definately the only band that i can honestly say probably "changed my life"...
and i still almost get chills reading them.
A PROFOUND HATRED OF MAN
If these hands would only kill.
They'd cleanse the world with its own blood.
They'd cleanse the world, if these hands would only kill.
These hand should cleanse your soul of the lust and the greed of this world.
And they call me a fool as they do so well.
Destroy the morality none have known for so long if ever at all
And I would lay down my life to birth a new generation of a righteous culture.
To a people I could proudly love and cherish.
For that's all I've ever asked for and been deprived of.
Not a tear for those of flesh
Not a stayed hand for a world that prostitutes itself.
Not a minute more of degeneration.
Words cannot express my disappointment.
Words cannot express my disapproval.
So I hate.
I hate a world that's capable of triumph.
Do I stand idly by and let this world disintegrate.
This world will pass away, and my emotions with it.
Why should I strive for acceptance and peace of mind.
A Profound Hatred of Man
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[22 Oct 2003|03:54am] |
fuck fuck fuck!...
i was bored, so i was playing online blackjack for about an hour or so, winning lots of fake money...like $150. and you can put your credit card in and play for real money, and i figured since i was winning so much fake money, i might as well win real money. so i fucking put the minimum amount of $30 in my blackjack account and start playing. the fucking dealer wins SIX TIMES IN A ROW, and i'm fucked out of 30 dollars. i swear on my life, it's fucking rigged. i know, i know....i should know better.
fuck the internet, and fuck you!
F U U U U C K!
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[22 Oct 2003|02:43am] |
i took some pictures of dennis tonight...
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[18 Oct 2003|09:06pm] |
i've been in ohio all week.
watched alot of movies, and listened to alot of pantera.
the new texas chainsaw massacre fucking rules!
i'll be home on sunday.
that's all...
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[09 Oct 2003|12:28pm] |
went to the afi/bleeding through show last night to see and hang out with bleeding through doods. it was fun, but really really weird seeing them play for thousands of high school kids "pogo'ing" around and push pitting. soooo many autographs and stuff though, it was funny shit to see how they handled it. we just made fun of them as they signed peoples shoes, and shirts, and tickets.
playing big tours like that would be bittersweet for me. yes you're playing for huuuge amounts of people, but when out of all of those people, there's only a handful of cool ones, i wouldnt be able to handle it well. i have an extremely low tolerance for dumb-ass kids like that. i'm an asshole....
okay, back to watching t.a.t.u. on mtv
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